LoVe :)

Family Portrait. :) Our first Complete.
Tony and I had Engagement pictures done (almost 7 years ago!), and then had Pregnancy pictures done for our first Wedding Anniversary. I was about 6 months along. When Chase turned One we had family pictures taken with the four of us. But now we are FIVE... a family of five. And the babe is almost two, so true family portraits were becoming a necessity. :)
I decided that because I have gotten so into Photography this past year, I was going to do our family portrait myself. So here it is. I have to say, I kind of love it. Not even kind of. I love it. I'm so happy with it. I didn't expect that. Considering I set all of my family members up, planning to slip into it, on top of using a remote. There was a lot of faith involved. I put a lot of faith into the kids to smile, and look at the camera, etc etc, because I could not see a thing, while sitting amongst them. I set them up, slipped in, click click click. They did not dissapointe!
I have been putting it off all Summer long, and since my stepdaughter is going back to School, thus we will only see her every other weekend (we're spoiled during the Summer, having her as much as we want!), now was the time!
So yes, I'm very pleased with it!

Lucky me.

I did it. I read her blog. Maddie's Mom. The mother who's baby passed away from SIDS.
My curiosity got the best of me. I hoped and even honestly thought that I would go read her blog tonight and read that she is doing well... that life is back on track, and every thing happens for a reason. Nope. She's still sad. (Go figure!) And reading still makes me sad. Her daughter is 10 months now. Or would be. God how sad.
I read that blog and I wanted to run into my children's bedroom and hug, squeeze and kiss them, and just love them! Make sure they know how much! Make sure I know how much! Some days I get so stressed out. Two littles feels like 10 some days. And they are both little to the point that I still have to do everything for them. It gets really hard. But I read this blog and it reminds me how much worse it could be. It reminds me that I am so completely and totally blessed.
A good day for this mother is not thinking too much about the fact that her child is dead. Wow, what a slap in the face. It makes me feel ungrateful, to ever get frustrated with my perfect, wonderful, insane, messy, naughty, beautiful, silly babies. They are so perfect for me, and they push me in every way, both good and bad. Sometimes I miss my freedom, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My son and my daughter are the reason I wake up. They are the reason I have a reason to wake up. Three square meals, and bath time, and bed time stories, and bubbles and Art projects, and HOPE... for all that they will do in life, and all that we will do together.
I am so beyond blessed.

Self-Proclaimed Picture Hoarder

After watching that very sad show, I realize that is really how I am with my pictures! I stress out over my pictures! I take so, so, so many pictures! Almost daily. And then I want to print them out and frame them all. But I am scared to death of clutter, or being a hoarder, so I am always changing pictures out, always buying new frames. I have a sickness.
But alas, a light at the end of the tunnel... last year for Christmas, Tony got me an 8x10 digital frame. It has a wood frame, and it's pretty. I have it on our shelf in our living room. And I literally never turn it on. Which I can't believe he hasn't brought up, considering how expensive they are. BUT I found an old camera of mine, with a pretty large memory card in it.... sooooo, I am going to spend an hour or two putting a ton of pictures on it... all the pictures I want to clutter my walls and life with. Then I can turn it on, and have it as background. Sweet relief.
Can you tell, by posts like this, that this blog is completely and totally my personal journal? It keeps me sane in this non-stop A.D.D brain of mine. It gives me order, which is something I work for on a daily basis. It doesn't come natural to me in any way. Routine, structure, they are not my forte. But I want them to be!
Speaking of frames, I bought four new ones to hang over the fireplace. (Leaving the other 3 large ones, there before, homeless I guess.) Since I did all of the kids portraits myself this year, I really want them up, front and center. And Tony bought me an insane camera stand, so I'm going to do our family photos myself. So I will have that picture in the 4th frame. Can't wait! Ok, that's all for today! Sooooo much to do and get done!
Happy Thursday! My favorite day of the week! :)

Wordless Wednesday- Beach Bums

randomness

i am such a restless person, i drive myself crazy. i feel like a kid who can't sit still. i always have some new project that i have to be doing. i get these crazy ideas in my head, and i act on them. like yesterday, i decided to wrap all the the Christmas presents i already have. and i've done this before. by the time Christmas comes, i have no clue what's in the wrapped presents, so i either A)unwrap them, or B)Buy more stuff. BTW i buy Christmas presents all year long. any time i see something i think someone will like, or find a really good deal. i like to strike while the iron is hot. my impatient nature i guess. i'm pretty sure i'm just going to buy gift cards for the remaining people. Christmas is so much work!

that's another thing... i give myself these huge projects, and my mind starts spinning and all of the sudden these fun projects turn into these genius ideas, and suddenly they are requiring hours of my time, and i'm writing list after list after list of ways to make this thing even greater. it is seriously exhausting.

like scrapbooks. i made 2 for Chase by the time his birthday came, but i'm thinking there is no way i will have Olivia's done by her birthday. no way, yeah right, not with every thing else going on. i feel like if i could get on some kind of ADD medicine i could concur the world. but instead i'm swimming in my own randomness all day long. sigh.

my current project, and by current, i mean THIS SECOND... Lexi told me she wants me to make her scrapbooks like I made Chase. She wants a book full of all of her Birthdays, and she wants a book full of just her and her life. With Chase' I'm doing a 1-5 book, and so on. so i was thinking i could start hers at 5. so then i'm like oh gawd, i have to go through 5 years of pictures! ahhhhh! soooo i decided since it is a scrapbook and i can take pages out and put them in, in whatever order i want, i am going to do the years backwards, starting with this year! so here i am, ordering a bunch of pictures through walgreens.com. man do i love those sites.

what other excitingness do i have going on right now? well, i started reading again! i was a book worm up until the time i had Chase, and had no time anymore. i read a couple books, but once Olivia was born, no way. so a few days ago i finished my first book in over 2 years! go me! i remember why i loved it! so i'm trying to give myself that time, of quiet and calm. it's really nice. very, very hard to get away, but nice! i hope i stick with it! i was stuck at the DMV for 90 minutes, so while waiting, wondered into the used book store next door. saw 50cent racks, and decided to browse. i found a book about Shakespeare, but written from the point of view of his wife, so figured, 50cents, why not. i was obsessed with Shakespeare all through high school. i would sit and memorize his sonnets. good times. :) so go figure, Shakespeare would be the one to bring me back to reading. haha. nerd at heart.

this week i'm hosting a baby shower for a co-worker. nothing big, but it's her first so i'm definitely going to make it special! i still have 2 more baby showers to host before summer is through! and Olivia's birthday too. i swear this summer is going so fast, i feel like it is literally slipping through my fingers. we have had a really good summer! we have done so much as a family, and it's been great. i hate to see winter come and put life back on it's seemingly halt. i know it's only august but i see my planner and my booked up weekends, and feel like it's already November. please let this be a mild, mild winter. with many sunny days, light fluffy snow, and not a below day in the bunch! that's my wish!

this is so random, i know, but it's late, and i'm tired. wish my brain would turn off! night friends. :)

Ugh

I'm in a rut! I have been sick for the last couple days. And my kids have been terrors! Seriously!

Olivia is getting started on her Terrible Twos. We have been rid of the pacifier for a short while now, and that's going great. But that's about it! Nap time and night time have become nightmares! She screams, and screams, and screams and screams. She crawls out of her crib, and lays by the door screaming. Until finally we cave. I won't let her cry for more than 15 minutes. That's what I've heard... 15 minutes, if they haven't calmed themselves, you should get them. So that's what we do. Man, it sucks! It's torture listening to her, so unhappy. So the last couple of nights she has slept with us. Then she wakes us up at 6 in the morning, by picking on Chase. Soon they are both fighting and crying.

That's another thing... she has become a little bully. She walks up to Chase and pulls his hair, or pinches him for no reason. Then he of course retaliates. Then she cries. It's ridiculous and I am exhausted! I used to cherish nap time, and lately, there is no such thing!

Sigh. And because I've been sick I have no energy to clean. So my house is messy, and that just adds to my stress. I just want to wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to take control of these situations!